"Pleasure isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. It’s how we sustain joy and energy"

- Susan Bratton

Anne Bland

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But let’s face it: they can also be stressful, overwhelming, and far from pleasurable. From endless to-do lists to societal pressures about what the “perfect Christmas” looks like, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters.

However, this year can be different. Inspired by my conversation with "intimacy expert to millions" Susan Bratton, here are four transformative ways to embrace a stress-free, pleasure-filled holiday season, designed to bring joy, connection, and intimacy back into focus.

Of course not everyone celebrates Christmas.

However, I feel that the ideas here apply to any cultural or religious holiday time that we have grown up with.

Here are the 4 things we invite you to explore:

1. Let Go of Perfection

Holidays often come wrapped in a package of expectations: the perfect tree, perfectly wrapped presents, and the perfect family dinner. But perfection is the enemy of joy, killing the connection with the heart and the others.

As Susan puts it succinctly: 

If you don't like it, don't do it.

Reclaim your holiday season by letting go of traditions or obligations that feel like a chore that will exhaust you. Instead, focus on what brings you genuine happiness and follow your inspiration! Maybe it’s a simple meal with close friends, a quiet evening with a good book, or skipping the gift exchange entirely. Joy comes when you make space for what truly resonates with you.

Dare to BE more and to do less...

2. Understand Your Stress Response

The holidays bring unique stressors, but how you handle them can make all the difference. Susan and I discussed the importance of understanding your parasympathetic profile—the unique ways your body and mind respond to stress and how you can calm yourself.

Stress responses often fall into one of four categories:

• fight

• flight

• fornicate

• food

Some people find themselves in “fight” mode, reacting with frustration or defensiveness. Others retreat into “flight,” mentally or physically withdrawing to cope. For some, “fornicate” is their go-to. i.e., a desire to reconnect through intimacy and physical touch. And finally, “food” can be a source of comfort, anchoring us in moments of uncertainty.

Bringing awareness into your go to stress response, Susan invites you to ask yourself:

When you are stressed, what is it that lowers your stress and anchors you?

Recognising your primary stress response is the first step to staying grounded. Whether it’s channeling frustration through movement (fight), finding stillness in meditation (flight), enjoying nourishing meals (food), or reconnecting with yourself or a partner (fornicate), you can use these insights to navigate the holidays with more grace and presence.

3. Prioritise Connection

Connection is at the heart of the holiday season but it’s not just about connecting with others. True connection starts with yourself.

It’s a choice.

Truly, it’s a choice to decide what you want the holidays to mean for you.

Whether it’s embracing traditions that light you up or creating entirely new ones, the goal is to feel connected to what matters most to you.

For couples, Susan’s Soulmate Embrace technique is a powerful Tantric way to foster closeness and intimacy. But connection doesn’t have to rely on a partner. Solo practices like mindful movement, breathwork, a gratitude ritual or even solo pleasure practice can help you strengthen your relationship with yourself.

And remember, if you are yearning for more intimate connection with a partner:

Our Yonis are watery; it takes time to get water into a boiling point. Cocks are fire. It’s instant.

Understanding these foundational energetic and elemental differences can transform how we approach intimacy, whether with a partner or ourselves.

4. Reclaim Pleasure

Pleasure is often seen as an afterthought, something we’ll get to after the “important” tasks are done. But pleasure is essential, especially during busy times like the holidays.

Pleasure isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. It’s how we sustain joy and energy.

I couldn't agree more with Susan. Whether it’s savoring a holiday treat, enjoying a long bath, or dancing to your favorite music, prioritising pleasure is a revolutionary act of self-care.

For those looking to go deeper, my Pleasure Quests are designed to help you reconnect with your body and energy, guiding you toward a more joyful and empowered state of being. This holiday season, embrace pleasure, not just as a reward, but as your birthright.

Your Holiday, Your Way

The holidays don’t have to be a whirlwind of stress and obligation. By letting go of perfection, understanding your stress response, prioritising connection, and embracing pleasure, you can create a season that feels aligned with who you are and what you value.

Explore Susan Bratton’s work for more intimacy tools.

Begin your journey of self-discovery with my Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools eBook

Join my Pleasure Quest.

Connect with me

You can reach out to me with questions or for personal guidance through my social media channels:

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest

LinkedIn

This, and any holiday season, why not give yourself the gift of joy and connection - your way!

Anne x

Transcript

54: Let Go and Love! Holiday Intimacy with Susan Bratton

Hello dear listeners. Thank you so much for being with me today during this holiday season. Welcome back to Tantric Sex for Lovers and Others. I'm your host Anne Bland and I want to wish you a beautiful holiday season however you have chosen to celebrate it or not to celebrate it.

I'm really excited to bring you this episode with a wonderful guest. Actually, I recorded this already a year ago and I was supposed to launch it in December 2023. Unfortunately, I just received some bad news. So basically, as you know, sometimes life has different plans and gives you unexpected challenges that require your full attention. Well, that happened to me and I needed to really consolidate all my energy into the kind of foundational stuff. And I couldn't launch guest episodes that I had planned. My pleasure truly is to bring this now because I have lined up incredible guests from all sorts of walks of life. And my aim is to go deeper into our mutual understanding, if you like, of intimacy self-discovery and pleasure and connection with other people, but also connection with the world at large. So today I'm going to bring you an amazing woman called Susan Bratton. If you know of Susan, I think you are really going to go for an amazing ride. She's affectionately known as "the intimacy expert to millions."

And she truly is a champion and advocate for those who desire lifelong passion and lifelong connection, regardless of your age. She's a co-founder and CEO of Personal Life Media. And she's a publisher of Heart Connected, Love Making Techniques and Bedroom Communication Skills. Susan has... as a wannabe author, it's amazing that she's authored 30 books and programs.

I know I have a book in me. Well, some of you might've read my first initial short version of Pleasure is Your Birthright ebook, but you know, she has done 30 books and programs and I'm trying to regulate here. I'm not going to go into the idea that, you know, I can never do 30 books, but fair play. She's amazing woman and she's done an international bestseller amongst the others called Sexual Soulmates, the Six Essentials for Connected Sex. It sounds very, very tantric to me. Her work has been featured, not surprisingly in the New York Times, CNBC and on the Today Show among others. So what are you going to learn or hear?

This might not be new to you anyway, but what we're going to discuss today is to really explore how lovers and individuals can nurture intimacy during this holiday season, a time that often can be full of stress and pressure. You will hear about how to let go of societal expectations, examples how to create a holiday season that aligns with your own joy and with your own pleasure. Susan gives amazing examples about how you can, for instance, understand your parasympathetic nervous system response to stress and intimacy more effectively. She also shares this amazing technique called Soulmate Embrace, which truly, truly was delicious. Very simple. But it's so transformative practice for deepening connection of anyone who is a lover to a woman. I hope that Susan's insights will help you navigate this rest of the holiday season with more grace, connection, joy, and intimacy. So without further ado, welcome to this very special holiday episode with Susan Bratton. Let's go.

Welcome Susan. How are you?

Susan:

Hello Anne. I am good, happy to be here.

Anne:

Christmas is coming and we all know that it has a lot of pressures, a lot of stresses the holidays should be time for joy and family and connection and intimacy.

But often it goes pear shaped. So Susan, would be your five tips? How can a couple, if you talk about couples, how can they really look after each other? That couple bubble that they can both go through this festive period with love and joy and pleasure and happiness. What would you say your tips would be?

Susan:

Stop doing anything that you don't genuinely want to do. Really examine what Christmas is and what parts of it you enjoy and what parts of it are a chore. And just stop doing the things that you don't like. So my Christmas, I don't have a tree, I don't have a wreath, I don't decorate. My family and friends come visit, I cook for them. A girlfriend gave me a poinsettia, so I have one. People who come to visit, I send them home with more than they bring. I'm like, here, take this, take this, take this. I don't tend to buy people presents unless they're practical or there's something that they want. I don't feel the need to buy anyone anything. And I don't really even want anything. Everybody's like, what do want me to get you for Christmas? And I'm like, nothing. That's what I want. I don't want anything. Just come over and let me feed you.

So I think in letting all of the societal mores of what Christmas is, what is Christmas? Christmas is like a, you know, it's like a holiday where you're supposed to do all this stuff. There's a giant list. You gotta put up a tree. You gotta buy all this stuff. You gotta wrap all these things. It's waste. It's paper. It's boxes. It's shipping. It's fossil fuel. It's stress. It's expensive. I don't know. It doesn't resonate with me at all.

Anne:

What I thought you said is something that I think is very beautiful, which is food. Come here and I feed you and food for me is love. It's very much about when you cook for somebody, you're showing them your love. So in terms of the couples, know, how can you know if you're a, let's say there is a couple, know, maybe they're on their own for these holidays.

In terms of rekindling their sexuality for these holidays, if they decide that let's not do presents, let's not go into this whole capitalistic, consumeristic way of doing Christmas and just forget that. So, I mean, it's a choice. I mean, it truly is a choice. And we have lots of other religions and people have different beliefs. So, it's not everybody's agenda at this time of the year anyway.

But I'm just really aware that it's a time where lots of fights, divorces, lots of heartbreak happen because all of a sudden there is all this pressure. So what you're saying, just decide what you want and what you don't want and just cull, cull, cull, cull all the things you don't want to be doing and just reclaim it as your own. What do you want to do at Christmas? You want to bring people together and feed them. That's beautiful.

Susan:

That's my response. And that's my response. Let me tell you really interesting. I'm going to talk about the de-stressing things. I want to talk about the soulmate embrace. I that's a very, very good tantric technique. But did you read all of the crazy publicity about the Burning Man Festival this year?

Anne:

Not all I know, but obviously it was all the all the flooding and all the flooding and all that, you know, extreme weather that comes from climate warming.

Susan:

All that was bullshit. Really? When we were I was on the Playa for the entire time. And I had a Starlink satellite dish. Yeah. Named Dishy McFlatface, which is super cute.

Okay. And on the top of my structure. And I saw all this stuff being posted about how there were these, you know, floods and exodus and trucks getting stuck and people miserable and these, you know, they had to put plastic bags on their legs and socks over it to be able to walk outside and you know, all this kind of stuff. And all of those things were true.

But they were completely sensationalized by the press. And when the rains came and they came down, and I've been to Burning Man, this was my 10th burn in 15 years. And when the rains came down, I was in my abode with my, I was not in a tent, I was in an RV. And so there were people in tents who were in low lying areas who really got flooded and people ganged together and we moved them out of those low lying areas or took them in and pop their tents down or whatever we had to do. People were, everyone was taking care of everyone. Cause there are low spots on the Playa where water was accumulating. It's a lake bed. Yeah. Yeah. But there were so many places to go indoors and people could get cared for and everything. And so the people who were panicking and not just waiting for the rain to go in the Playa to dry up a bit, those people who were panicking, who walked out for six hours or who, you know, they dug themselves in, had to abandon their car because they couldn't wait for two frigging days to get home. I mean, maybe there was one person who needed to get to it plane or would have, there were ways you could walk out and find someone to take you and things like that. But I remember in a moment where there was some fear like, whoa, I wonder how long we'll be here… that was my husband, my boyfriend and I, and we were all inside our RV. And my first thing was, okay, how much food do I have? How many days can I wait this out? If it's going to flood, you know, if we have to stay in the RV, how long do I have? And the first thing I went to was food because you know, about flight and fright, the parasympathetic service, the stress response, feed fuck flight et cetera. That's we do when we're under pressure. And so my response was, how much food do I have? How many days? And my boyfriend's response was like, he shut down. He flited. He mentally flighted. And my husband's response was, why aren't we fucking right now? Like he needed the fornication, the fucking. That was what would soothe him.

It's how he soothes himself. And I just thought it was like, was like, whoa, that's interesting how we all have a different trauma response to fear of uncertainty, I would call it. I wouldn't even call it fear. I would just call it uncertainty. And so when I say,

I don't do Christmas. got my girlfriend gave me a poinsettia and I'm gonna cook for everybody. That's what I like to do. Other people, that's not their response. If you ask my husband, what do you wanna do for Christmas? He'd be like, I just wanna have sex the whole time. That sounds great to me. That's how I de-stress. That's what makes me feel good. And my boyfriend, for Christmas, he likes to be with family. He just wants to be with us. He's just really family oriented too. And so it's just a really interesting thing to think about.

When you are stressed, what is it that lowers your stress and anchors you? What do you need? And when we are distant from our sexuality, when we are living someone else's decisions about what we should be doing, when we feel pressured to buy presents, put up trees, bake cookies, hang lights, whatever the hell everyone's doing that I'm not bothering with so I'm chill, we put ourselves under that stress.

We have to counteract that stress in ways that suit us. And I think that's what's important. You know, every influencer out there is talking about the mindfulness of meditation and you should get up every morning and write in your gratitude journal and it's like, dude, that's cool for you. That's not the thing I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get up and make myself a smoothie and go work out. That's what makes me feel better is nutrition and exercise and getting outside in nature. like that. And sitting on my PEMF mat, scrolling threads and seeing what's going on in the world is very calming for me to take a break from my actual life and just like be out in a bigger world. And so I think that in Christmas, I would say there are two things.

Number one is, if you don't like it, don't do it. Number two is, what is your parasympathetic profile? Getting to know what calmes you down. And once you have those two things, then you begin to move into this place of internally sustainable joy, which is what you teach Anne, which is...

I'm going to do what pleases me. I'm going to live a life that pleases me. And when you begin doing that, all of the people around you can lower their stress because instead of you running around and trying to make perfect cookies and do all the damn ornaments and all that crap, you're actually doing things that bring you joy and then you're a joy to be with. Exactly. You're now happy and I know you're happy and that makes me calm and happy and also empowered to make myself happy. So Anne, when you stand as a representative of someone who is just living the life you want and has taken off the yoke of the prescribed culture, I mean,

You're a Finnish woman living in France too. You're kind of like, you lived in England. You've been in a lot of cultures and you've picked up the things you like and the things you don't. You probably still like the Higgie or the Chazellig or whatever it is that was part of your culture. You still like your cozy things, right? Once you get cozy, ain't no cozy coming out. Everybody likes cozy, but...

I'd say that is probably how you do it, there is a, you know, I'm an author of passionate lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills. I'm not a therapist. I don't sit in a room with people and help them have better sex. I don't typically fix people's sexual problems. I leave that to the experts. What I do is help people feel pleasure, expand pleasure, hold sensation. Get clear on what they want and desire in every given moment, feel comfortable asking for it, and get to the point in their sex lives when having sex with them is really fun because you know they're just thinking the fun is shit up. They can imagine that day. They're throwing it down. You're like, sounds fun. I wouldn't have thought of that. Let's do that. And you know people are happy and pleasurable and connected.

Anne:

How would you actually say then when people have different, you know, if they have mismatched pleasure in terms of the communication, how would you advise people to talk to each other? It's very scary because, you know, you can be judged potentially, you can be unloved or, you know, there can be even anger or people can take it to their own pride or ego.

There's for instance, there's a lot of studies saying that women fake orgasms, because a they want to please their partners, or they want to save their ego, so they don't want to hurt them. So they say, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I came. Or they just want the whole thing to be over and done with ASAP. So so that's a sad state of affairs. So how would you advise somebody then based on your experience and this journey that you described, how would people talk to each other so that they don't have to be afraid of all these things and don't need to succumb to lying and faking and just pleasing people, please.

Susan:

Yeah, I'd say get a therapist because you know, like, I couldn't, I can't answer that question for two reasons. Number one, mean, I could answer it. But it is so situationally dependent on that couple, what their desires are, where they are in their relationship, what's their level of honesty and communication, what are their belief structures, what's their history, what's their trauma? I mean, how could I give you a pat answer on something with that much nuance to it?

That's what therapists are for. If you want to know how to cum really well, if you want to know which sex toys to get, if you want to know how to know what you want and ask for it in bed, if you want to learn how to do sensual talk, pillow talk, worship and adoration, appreciating, on, come on. You need to give us a little, I know you just want to give us food and feed us, but come on, Give us a little strategy or technique that we can practice over the Christmas period.

So the technique that I would give you is something I call the soulmate embrace. And what therapists call this is co-regulation. Neuroscientists would call this an endocrine cascade of neurotransmitters. Wow. And hormones. A tantric lovemaking person would call this a being probably something like sensual presence.

So basically when people hold each other, if you are lucky enough to have a partner, you usually will hold each other for a few minutes and then you get a little hot and sweaty or whatever and you're done and that's nice and you move on. But holding and being held is really an art form. And most people they just hug and as soon as their partner relaxes, they let go. It's like a catch and release. And the soulmate embraces when two lovers are lying in bed, he will likely have some cotton pajamas on of some kind because men are generally scratchy and a little clammy and sweaty sometimes. So if you need that, if you are the feminine and you're a little sensitive to getting sweaty or being scratchy or what have you, you don't want the sensations of skin on skin to take away from the pleasure of being held where you'd have to withdraw too quickly. So the partner being clothed is often helpful. And then you nestle in their arms and they hold you and you just relax there for a few minutes and let your heartbeats synchronize a bit and you're breathing slow. And then you can, let's just say it's a man and a woman.

He can, but it can be anybody, he can pet her and stroke her. First maybe stroke her hair from the top down, stroke her arms from the shoulder to the hands, maybe squeeze her hand a little bit or squeeze her little wrist between your encircled fingers, pet her back from the shoulders down to her butt, pull her a little closer as she starts to relax.

Hold her, not too tightly. It's okay to relax and adjust. Have maybe a pillow on your shoulders so she can, she doesn't have to be kind of down in a hole with her head so her neck is comfortable and supported. Let her tell you whatever's coming up for her. Let her bitch about shit, basically. Get it off her chest. We have a lot of things we think our internal lives have a lot of complexity.

We've got our mind on a lot of things and we're emotionally complex and verbally articulate. And it helps us, most of us to get things out by speaking them and processing them. Let her talk. If tears come to her eyes, know that she's finally beginning to relax and that the tears are also a prolactin letdown, which also lets her saliva run.

It lets her breasts relax. It lets her vagina begin to lubricate. And as you feel those things happening, pull her more closely to you. Maybe now you can squeeze her butt a little bit, stroke her thighs. Maybe she's rolled over a little and you can touch her breasts and her belly. Kiss her cheeks. Kiss her forehead. Kiss her eyelids.

Peck her lips. Don't just kiss her. Don't come straight at her. Kiss her neck, her clavicle, her sternum. Tell her you love her. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her what you love about her. Tell her what you find pretty. Give her specifics. Adore her and appreciate her and encourage her to keep telling you anything she needs to tell you. And pretty soon what you will find is that you have in your arms very relaxed woman who suddenly remembers how much you turn her on and how much she loves to be close to you. And then she'll probably get on top of you and she'll probably kiss you and you can maybe put your tongues together and intertwine the tips of them and you will maybe be able to touch and cup her breasts and hold them and maybe kiss her nipples and stroke her back and grab her butt and squeeze her thighs and tell her how sexy she is to you. And then you could make her some offers. Would you like a back rub, a foot rub? Would you like a yoni massage? Would you like whatever, whatever you think she might like? And she'll say, no, my back doesn't hurt anymore. Yeah, I think I'd like a yoni massage. That sounds really great. Can we listen to some really soft music? Can I have a glass of water? Of course, my love, let me get the room set up.

Let me get a towel under you. Let me get the lube you like out. And so it begins. Men are much more ready to go because they have to be ready when our inscrutable desire appears. But for women, know, this, I love this new concept of the, don't even know who coined these words, but I should look it up and memorize who it was. But the notion of responsive desire and spontaneous desire.

Generally, the male bodies are more spontaneous desire and the female body to us are more responsively desirable. And we need that slow warm up with the adoration and the small offers and the letting go to get out of our head our estrogen mind, which is a worried mind because we move through life through abuse and insecurity and unequal pay and having to do the home and work and all of the stuff that we take on. And we can't just be penetrated or we'll end up faking it, getting it over with and not wanting it anymore. The guys who email me with the lists of all of the reasons why their wife won't have sex with them are the worst lovers who think there's something wrong with their wife.

And so it takes a lot of education for people to understand. And what women think is there's something wrong with them. If I had a nickel, Anne, for every midlife woman who says her libido is dried up, I would not have to ever work again because she has had a lifetime of shitty, disconnected, hurried, rushed penetration.

No wonder she has no libido. No one ever held her like that. No one ever talked to her like that. No one ever ran her a menu. No one ever gave her yoni massages. They just bitched and acted pissed off until they got fucked and got, and they left her alone. I mean, that is the sad state of what patriarchal religious orientation toward penetration as what sex is has done to the world.

Anne:

I agree hear, hear. Thank you so much for that. And you really took me on a journey when you started to say how, you know, men should treat women. I just, I, my whole body started to relax and I was really getting into that state and you it's, just, you know, it's, it just resonates so true. And our Yonis, our Pussies - It's watery. It takes time to get water into a boiling point. And cocks are very much about fire. So it's just split second when that's on fire. So it's just understanding the very basic energetic, elemental, foundational differences is very important. And I think that's the thing that I think both of us are on the mission to change in this world. I'm really curious what... obviously you don't do the Christmas the way people have taught you to do it, the culture has said. What about New Year's resolutions?

Susan:

Well, I'm going to journey with a group of my girlfriends on the solstice. And we're going to get together and we're going to envision our future momentum. And we're going to be quiet together and think about what that is. We're going to prompt ourselves with thought questions and then we're going to share our thinking with each other so that we can encourage each other's metamorphosis into being even more of who we are and the gifts we have to bring to the world and the pleasure and joy we're going to create for ourselves to give each other ideas to cross pollinate essentially our living in pleasure giving our gifts joyfully and sensually and sexually.

That's what we're going to do. So my New Year's Eve, I'm actually doing a mastermind with a bunch of healers and biohackers. And so that's going to be much more of a, you know, party with my friends, hang out, snuggle up type of thing for me. The journey I'm doing on the solstice is this introspection on the longest day of the year, you know, or the shortest day of the year, moving into our recreation through. that journey.

Anne:

So what's your what's your next year going to look like? Do you know yet?

Susan:

I am doing a lot of speaking and we are shooting that documentary. Yeah. And I am we are just installing a new email platform. I have to run all my own email servers because no email company will allow me to use their systems for teaching people about passionate lovemaking.

And so we had a 10 year old platform that was getting quite beleaguered and we've taken a 70 % revenue hit. And I have a team of people that I have a very big sled of people I pull behind me. I generate revenue that is responsible for taking care of many people's families.

And we're down 70 % in our revenue because we switched over to a platform that does things differently than the way that our old platform did. And so I feel the responsibility to make that work again at the same time that I am still going to enjoy myself and have my joy and pleasure in connection with my friends and my loved ones. So that's what's going on for me.

Anne:

That sounds amazing. And I really feel honored and very grateful that you had time to come on this podcast to talk to us. And it's also, it's really beautiful to have examples of women owning their pleasure and their sexuality, but also their businesses and having that responsibility, having that role modeling of what a business badass businesswoman looks like and acts like and how she has the responsibility of looking after so many, as you said, families and their livelihoods. So celebrations to you and gratitude to you.

Susan:

It's been a pleasure, whatever in whatever way it makes you happy holidays. That's it. That's absolutely it.

Anne:

Wonderful.

What a conversation. I'm really grateful for Susan Bratton having had time to appear on this show and there might be future episodes with her as well. So stay tuned. Please subscribe and share if you liked it, share your reviews on your platform wherever you listen to podcast. I hope you're feeling inspired to approach the rest of the holiday season and your relationships with yourself and others with a renewed sense of joy and connection and also intention. Susan's beautiful insights and ideas about reclaiming what truly matters to you, like even this holiday season, how you approach it to intimacy and connection align so deeply with what we talk about here on this podcast.

And in wider sense, in Selfishly Happy Revolution. At its core, we seem to have a very similar philosophy to life and this very pragmatic approach to authentic pleasure and happiness that helps us all thrive in this world. So if you would like to take these ideas further, I truly recommend her book for Soulmates and also to explore my little booklet called Pleasure is Your Birthright if you haven't yet and join my Pleasure Quests. These programs, Pleasure Quests, one is for female, one is for male, are designed to help you to reconnect with your own body - they are solo quests - and with your own desires and your inner joy. I will show tools like breathwork and movement and sexual energy practices to help you unlock a deeper sense of intimacy and empowerment with yourself.

Once you know what you truly like it's easier to have that conscious communication with your lover or lovers and partner or partners to share what you truly love to experience in your pleasure and intimacy. They are really I think foundational practices to help you to strengthen your relationship with yourself and your partners.

Thank you so much for tuning in today's episode of Tantric Sex for Lovers and Others. And remember, this holiday season and all these holiday seasons, whatever religion they're based on, is truly yours to design. So make it one of connection, joy and pleasure by design. Here's to living a Selfishly Happy life now and always. Ciao ciao.